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The new Object Solutions Shop features our flagship invention, the Full-Body Moist Towel. Your purchase directly funds our future projects, including more films, more prototypes and an upcoming book.
Some nights—the darkest and stormiest in our memories—we find ourselves without the available cuddle of a lover. This person may be out of town, racing toward us on an overnight train. Or this person may simply be someone we’ve yet to meet. In any case, we’re sleeping alone tonight, and it’s too late to change that fact.
Not only are we without a lover’s cuddle, but we’re also without their life-affirming tugging and hogging of the blanket—a bittersweet reminder that there’s someone beside us, who’s also, at this moment, against us. Throughout the night, this tug of warmth assures each person in the bed that a fellow sleeper is present, and assertively so.
With the Runaway Blanket, the friendly conflict continues in the other person’s absence, recreating that now-nostalgic moment we thought we’d never miss.
To activate the Runaway Blanket, allow your lover—or an approved colleague—to do the honors of crawling into bed and mimicking their earnest effort at claiming the blanket for themselves. This effort is encoded into the blanket’s memory.
During a well-intentioned night of rest, the blanket will recall what it’s been taught, regardless of your sleep cycle status or marital status. It retreats, ever so slyly, into an opening at the side of the bed frame.
If the moment is right, you’ll wake to discover that familiar feeling, and you’ll pull the blankets back as the computer resists, until you find that sweet spot where you both can practically rest.
If the moment is really right, you’ll wake to discover that your lover has returned from his or her journeys, at which point you can safely shut down the Runaway Blanket, hopefully for years and decades to come.